KING SAUD REVIEW
“An L.A. noir that’s so full of ‘WTF’ moments, it’s shocking that Toma got the movie made at all.”
I’ve never lived in Los Angeles. In fact, I do my best to stay as far away from Hollywood as I possibly can, despite my chosen profession. But I do understand that a lot of people move to Hollywood to make movies or play a part in making them, which may be why writer/director Mark Toma spent fourteen years trying to get this neo-noir crime movie made, though it involves so many questionable decisions, beginning with its quizzical title that gives the viewer very little idea on what to expect.
Toma himself plays Wolfe, an L.A. detective investigating the gory murder of a Saudi prince, beheaded during a dalliance with a prostitute. He’s paired on this case with a female detective named Lynch, played by Kate Orsini, whose acting resumé goes back 20 years but rarely ever appearing on the same show twice. Other characters include a madame played by Rachel Alig, and the prince’s sly aide, played by Mike Saad, both playing a role in a complex issue of corruption within the police force also involving Wolfe’s boss Griffin (Michael Monks).
Maybe going into the movie realizing that Toma was playing Wolfe, more things would have made sense, because he is so obviously the weakest link in a cast where Orsini and Alig are the only actors who seem to have any real acting chops. I watched this entire film not realizing that the horrid main character was played by Toma, and once I realized that (essentially as the end credits rolled), it started to make much more sense. Saad’s performance as the aide is not only a horrible Arab stereotype, complete with deplorable accent, but it also leads to a number of homophobic jokes that feel unnecessary and certainly aren’t very funny. It seems like Toma is trying to say something about the wealthy royals from the Middle East who come live in the States, but that’s unclear.
There’s so much to the film that’s just so offensive, most of it coming out of Wolfe’s mouth, and it’s never quite clear what Orsini’s character sees in such an a-hole, who literally assaults her, but then she has sex with him, repeatedly. On top of that, the movie is so derivative, liberally stealing every cliché from far better L.A. noir films. The music is vaguely interesting, mainly in the fact that it goes for some of the same jazz riffs we’d often seen in other noir films, playing over various L.A. sunset interstitials that seem very much like stock footage. That becomes more obvious once you notice that most of the exterior scenes are shot during broad daylight, completely taking the film out of any feeling of being “noir.”
In many ways, this reminds me of Chris Pine’s Poolman, a far more obvious Chinatown rip-off, but at least one with a far more talented cast of known actors. Toma was smart to surround himself with better actors like Orsini and Alig, but the fact that the only acting he’s ever done is in his own movies is quite telling.
While it’s commendable that Toma got this movie made at all, he would have done better in letting someone else direct, or getting a co-writer, or even hiring a better actor as his lead. The end results feel so DIY and low-budget that it’s hard to watch at times, leading up to one of the most cringe-worthy third acts that includes some absolute craziness – like the brothel madam masturbating in front of a cross, which she later uses to bean Wolfe – that it never achieves the type of good will a movie like this needs to ever win over its audience.
King Saud might not achieve the level of Tommy Wiseau’s The Room in terms of being a movie so bad that it’s fun or entertaining. Instead, it’s a misguided attempt at an L.A. noir that’s so full of “WTF” moments, it’s surprising that Toma got this movie made at all.
Rating: 3/10
King Saud is available to rent or buy on most digital VOD platforms.